EVERYTHING IN MODERATION - DAY 1

Self control has never been one of my redeeming qualities. The mere sight of those words induces a roll of the eyes, a shake of the head and brings forth my compulsion to exclaim “Boring! Who wants to be boring?" A milder case of Tourette’s syndrome it seems.

My first experience with alcohol or fermented ethanol, as I like to call it these days, is an accurate reflection of my personality. At the age of 13 years and staying with my Dad in Bronte, curiosity took me for a ride. Sitting up alone watching the Bill, I decided it was about time I got a handle on ‘adult things’. Not one to miss out on new experiences, I decided that the only way to avoid detection and experience a variety of drinks in a short time frame was to take a few gulps out of every single bottle in Dad’s apartment. Rule number 1: don’t mix your drinks. This is the part where I would like to say "I learnt that lesson the hard way." Unfortunately, I never did. I actually have no recollection of what mischief ensued, but I do recall waking in the early hours to discover a pool of vomit in my bedroom. Rule number 2: ensure you make it to the bathroom.  Lesson noted.

I have spent most of December intoxicated. Well, to be completely honest, I have spent a great deal of time over the last 5 years either being under the influence or thinking about my next ‘fix’. I love cocktails on a summer’s day, wine with a good meal, Vodka in a club, Cognac as a night cap and Champagne…….ohhh, Champagne I could just bath in every morning before work. They look down upon that sort of thing however. The less glamorous side has involved bonding with the toilet bowl and wasting away gorgeous days in bed, leaving voice messages on Death’s phone requesting he remove me from planet Earth. Unreliable fellow.

A myriad of reasons have led me to a pact to abstain from alcohol for no less than 100 days. The sheer disbelief on the faces of those around me has further fuelled my fire to succeed. I have come to realise that alcohol plays such a significant role in socialising that it almost seems unnatural for us to survive without it. I am concerned that I will morph into that person nobody wants to sit next to at a dinner party, or worse still, I won’t even receive invitations to dinner parties! Anyway, the wheels are in motion and its already day 2 of this road trip with my new buddy, Self Control. This is a story about bucking the trend - d’spirited.