WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S YOUR BDAY - DAY 70

I won’t lie to you. I figure we have grown to know each other over the last couple of months and what sort of friends would we be if I kept secrets? You see, my original plan was to stay sober for 2 months in order to have a breather and win a bet. I won the bet FYI. The plan took a new turn when I was searching for an appropriate blog title. Somehow ’62 days of sobriety’ just didn’t have the same ring to it as ‘100 days’. Then again, 40 days seemed to be the bible’s choice when it came to periods of punishment and rainfall, not to mention Moses. The poor fellow was apparently up on Sinai for 40 days receiving 10 commandments. Why on earth was he only getting 1 rule dished out every 4 days? Perhaps he was the world’s first ice addict and simply lost track of time.

In short, I didn’t factor in that I was having a birthday in the middle of this epic dry spell. I tossed and turned for a few nights considering what it would mean if I had a drink at my own party. Having arranged a shindig for 32 people at my house and feeling like I was in a good place for the first time in years, it seemed somewhat strange to deny myself a drink for the sake of proving a point. But I DID want to prove a point, and so, I decided to abstain…initially.

The days rolled by until the 10^th of March knocked on my front door. At approximately 6pm, I turned to my flatmate and said “I would like to have a drink because it’s my birthday and I feel like celebrating”.  And that was that.  I had 2 half drinks and 1 full drink the entire night. To be honest, I wasn’t enjoying the flavour or the tipsy feeling at all. I ditched the first drink and simply lost the second. I finished my third and then felt it was sufficient. I woke up completely hangover free and minus any desire to drink again in the near future. I racked my brain for clues as to how I truly felt about ‘giving in’. Instead of guilt, I felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. Why? Because I chose to drink when it felt right and chose to stop when it didn’t.  I finally realised that it wasn’t really ever about the number of days but about finding the right amount of time that allowed me to reset my bad habits. It is not necessary for me to have fun or to be silly or to talk to strangers. It is not my friend and it is not my foe. It is just something to be enjoyed at the right time and for the right reason. “You are not searching for something anymore” my colleague explained. “Not hiding the pain of the past or the angst of the future”.